fatwink:

*pre-heats oven to 420°* time to get baked *gets inside oven*

pizza:

high-self-esteem:

fatwink:

all i want is pizza and high self esteem

hello

hello

I’m so insecure like I could be married to my husband of 40 years and I would still wonder if he likes me or not

epic-humor:

wynn1ng:

This was literally the funniest one. Even He couldn’t help but laugh.

see more

mcbrayers:

yet another unrealistic expectation for women

doctormagnuseverdeen:

musiclove4life:

philsmismatchedsocks:

andsoheismyjohn:

fancifullauren:

lonelywhiteasian:

nippush:

once a gecko fell into my shirt and i screamed like a girl

once a girl fell into my shirt and i screamed like a gecko

once a…

zackisontumblr:

If anybody asks if they know you from somewhere, look them in the eyes and say, “Do you watch porn?”

awkwardvagina:

popcorn? no thanks i only eat heavymetalcorn

If i had a dollar for every time u annoyed me

 

tjurpiss:

I JUST NEVER WANT TO FORGET THIS EVER